life before stationery

When I was first asked about this project by my manager in the winter of 2025, I didn’t yet know just how big its scope would become. We sat down over breakfast, and she asked me about my long-term goals. I was asked how I would feel about designing some products for M.Lovewell’s 10th shop birthday. Immediately, a light lit up inside of me. On the other side of that feeling was some hesitancy. Sure, I had worked on a few small projects for the shop previously, but did that really make me right for the job?

 A year before this discussion, I had moved out on my own for the first time. I worked multiple jobs and didn’t know I struggled with an anxiety disorder for much of my life. I was adjusting to a life outside of the bubble of college.  My life was changing a lot and fast. I didn’t have too much experience in art and design other than small projects here and there. I applied for a few design positions, only to be confronted with the hard reality that my Adobe Illustrator skills were just not up to par with true professionals. I was hopeful that I would get a remote apparel design job. But after six months of back and forth, an art test, and a moment of onboarding, I was ultimately ghosted by the company. Eventually, I put my art-making on the back burner.  I didn’t understand then that I was just doing my best at adjusting to my new routines and life. Art was not going to serve me at the time, or so I believed.

Fast forward a couple years to where I knew I was getting let go from my job at the time. I applied to M.Lovewell in the hopes that I could use some similar skills there. Yes, I had some knowledge about stationery, and I thought it was plenty to get me through the next place. Little did I know, I was just at the very edge of the vast ocean of stationery goodies. I slowly grew to learn more and more about fountain pens, notebooks, paper types, washi tapes, and so many other little bits that make stationery so vast and exciting. Much of it was thanks to my team, who are so knowledgeable and passionate about the hobby. Somehow, I ended up with more stickers, washi tape, and notebooks than I would have ever previously thought to have collected.  I have become an avid collector of paper goods and a journaler. 

My first year at M.Lovewell I mostly worked on my own at the Orange location at the back of Contra coffee shop. Most of our customers were young college students and some fans of the M.Lovewell location in Santa Ana. Lots of people poked their head in on their way to the bathroom, since the shop was at the very back of the coffee house. It was very small, so I talked with everyone who came in one on one. I was able to talk with some regulars there and eventually make friends with some people as well. During this time, I saw my manager every now and then when she would drop off some inventory. But I didn’t have the chance to really work with other coworkers or truly feel like I was part of the team. Once Orange was permanently closed, I had to really learn my stuff to feel helpful at Santa Ana.

All of this is to say that it took a while for me to build trust with my team. I was surprised when I was given the chance to work on such a special project when I felt like there were plenty of illustrators with much more experience than I. However, I couldn’t deny the bubbling excitement I felt at imagining